Deep Waters

The cold crisp air, hand made fall decorations, my sad bald little maple tree in the front yard, northface fleece jacket and the insanely busy schedule all point to the fact that I am entering one of the busiest seasons. Since one of my many hats has the title worship leader, this time of year is when it is OK to listen to Christmas music as you plan for advent sunday services coming up soon. I do so only with my headphones and somewhere I can sing along quietly so I don’t disrupt the rest of the family that is trying to take one holiday at a time. We somehow managed to squeeze pumpkin carving in just 3 nights before Halloween. I was ready to scrap the whole event, but my husband, would not relent. Even though we disagree on the level of participation on said day, I am grateful we did it. I watched baby girl scoop all the guts back into bother’s pumpkin, watched tears stream down my perfectionist child and amazed my 3 yr old with my “talent” of drawing doc mcstuffin on her pumpkin and sat back and realized that I needed a moment, even if it was a rushed one, sitting on the floor with my family and soak up the joy that was written on the 5 yr olds face.

What is it with our fear or inability to be still?!? We know this is a problem of the ages, one that didn’t just happen in the last few generations, since one of the 10 commandments God gave to the Israelites was to “remember the sabbath and keep it holy”. God literally had to make a law that required his people to REST.

I am part a of a bible study group with a few women, there are 4 different churches represented each time we meet…Revival takes place each time hearts come together and break bread while digesting the daily bread God has given us. We are doing a study called “Beautiful Mess” based on the movie “Moms night out”. It is amazing, convicting, eye opening and many times relieving to know that I am not the only one with thoughts, feelings, questions and things that only God’s word can answer. One thing is has been pointing out is owning the gift of motherhood. I have found some great advice and tips to help get me to a place that is constantly leaning on the holy spirit to guide my days. Yet, I have been perplexed with the fact that some of those tips are hard to apply to a large family. I kind of laugh when I say that because I don’t feel like we are large, it feels normal, but when I look outside of us, I realize we are…

Cayden just started basketball, against his own wishes a few wks ago. The poor kid cannot handle change and is horrible at trying new things. After dragging him to the gym in the early mornings with me to a basketball camp, he decided he wasn’t going to play. The camp consists of kids all older then him. When he had to tryout for his division for the city league, I was able to witness first hand the skills he developed in those early mornings. Best part he ended up on a team with his buddies. 

Ezzy and Kyre are both in ballet and decided to tryout again this year for the nutcracker. Now making our Saturdays consists around chauffeuring little girls with tight buns, pink tights and personality soaring out of each twirl, jump or expressive move their body makes. 4 hours of ballet is on the schedule E.V.E.R.Y. single Saturday until December.

Richard is chomping at the bit to get out and hunt. Like every year he feels the pressure most alaskan men do, stock the freezer. Even if we don’t get a deer this year, we are hopeful we might get some geese or duck and atleast make some of his amazing jerky.  He  is spending his free time watching all the taxidermy videos he can fit in.   Even did his own squirrel mount recently…my only request is to leave brains out of my fridge and freezer 😒

I just recently got back from my second conference this year. It at times feels like the things God is calling me to each day are too much. I find myself overwhelmed. I am totally in retreat mode right now. My haven is my home. The place I can listen to worship music all day, grab my Bible and read a verse when my heart stumbles or just get lost in his presence as he meets me without all the demands and distractions I feel. I am having to train myself to not freak out when I see the clock ticking away and my to do list not budging. As my aunt told me last night in a text, its in the busiest seasons that allows God to do his work, IF I let him.

This season I find myself leading a bible study M-F with 14 other women. As I have mentioned in past blogs I am part of an amazing organization called “hellomornings”. Thanks to my former pastor’s DIL I found out about them. After a year and half of just being a participant I heard God loud and clear, after I removed the things plugging my ears, that it was time to step into a new role. It has absolutely added more work to my already full plate, but no matter what, I always find time in the day to study and be prepared each day. Help comes in the form of the holy spirit teaching me to let go of the things that don’t really matter. Did you know that God doesn’t determine my worth as a mother and wife in the estate of my home? I am slowly learning this. Help also comes in the form of a supportive spouse who sends me off to my room after a late dinner or when kids are tucked in bed and tells me he will be patiently waiting for me to finish and join him for the latest episode of “Arrow”.

It has been in the most recent study I am doing with hellomornings that I have been convicted on my obedience to the call, how I view Jesus and whether or not I am resting, better yet abiding in him. It is way too easy to fill my day up, naturally, since there are 6 of us with 11 loads of laundry to do a week, bread to be baked 2x a week, cookies baked every friday, feeding always hungry and growing bodies, (all in my new big kitchen!)

 hugs when life stinks, timeouts when mouths get the better of them, scripture to read when leading them to his truth that can be clouded by the world and little reminders that if the mate God designed me to be with isn’t my second priority in life, then things start to slip.

Where Richard and I stand with one another matters deeply not only to God, but to our home life, that is going to be soon opened up to others. This Sunday, Richard and I will be standing infront of our church body inviting people to come and join our small group. If you know about our family, you know the HUGE risk we are taking in doing this. Deep waters, deep deep waters is what God is calling us to. Recently the two times I read about Jesus walking on the water (1 peter and mark) I realized that Jesus used the storms to call the disciples into a place that revealed their innermost doubts and fears and gave them an opportunity to enact their faith. This is what is happening.

My heart can at times start to pound, I can begin to run through the lists of things that could come and enter our home, its in those moments that I can make a choice: to either worry or worship (thank you Worship Leader Conf ’15 for teaching me this gem).

Folks, do you realize that it is the first week of November?!

That means that Ezzy has been going to school since the last week of August, for the last 70 days. We have heard and watched kids get sick, cringed and almost cried in the quick release that happens when I say goodbye on the school playground. We have received phone calls, texts and fb msgs informing us sick kids were going to be going to school. Thanks to her amazing teacher, she delicately moves her around to try and limit contact with sick kids. My instinct was to pull her and wait with each notification of a sick kid going to school. God wouldn’t let me. I would run to him after failing and leaning on my own understanding, he was and is always there waiting to guide me. Each time God said “trust me”.

Trust me – trust me that I watch over her – trust me that I am her rock and fortress – trust me that I have written her days – trust me that I am calling you to a new season. One that will give him glory. 

Lately God has been showing me the areas that I have not acknowledged his hand moving in mine or my family’s lives. It can be found in the most awkward place, like the treadmill at the gym, where I know he is calling me to lift my hands in praise to him…yeah, I am that crazy person at the gym you want to avoid.

So right now I am choosing to worship him over my worries. I am loving how my “caught by jesus” study asks us to write down our lists each day and then hand them over to jesus and invite him to sit with us as we read the word. It is changing my outlook on life. You should try it, write out the things weighing you down and then asks Jesus to speak to those things. Then worship/praise/thank him for what he has done. Can’t find anything, ASK him and he will show you what he has been up too!!

As we enter this season with our family pulled in many different directions I am ever grateful He is driving the boat and we are all learning in our own ways to TRUST him. I am even more grateful that as I have been resting in my home, prioritizing my to do lists, that I as I make more time for him and less time for me, I walk away fulfilled and the things that have to get done manage to always get done. Not by my strength, by his alone.

So Jesus, I praise you for your protection over our little miracle that was the most perfect gift you gave us to learn about your love for us. I praise you for her health. I praise you for the deep waters of faith and trust you are calling the Harneys into, we thank you for the home you have blessed us with, one that allows for your vision of your bride growing and learning about your plans for our lives to happen in – Amen

Want to pray for us?
We could use prayers of protection as we start this new ministry, prayers that our marriage withstands the attacks that will come, prayers we keep asking him to oversee our to do lists and a selfish request, prayers that I find the time to train and have fun while training for my 3rd 1/2 marathon this year, hello phoenix, I am coming your way!!!!!

4 thoughts on “Deep Waters”

  1. Still praying for you, Sweet Sarah! Thanks for challenging me to release myself to Jesus and never hold back. I love you, sister I have yet to meet. ❤️

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