The one I love…

I have experienced often over the last few years people wanting to know exactly what I do.

Saying “I am a spiritual director”, causes a lot of confusion, perplexed looks, and thoughts stirring…watching and waiting to see if they will ask clarifying questions usually happens.

Over the last few years, I have had the immense privilege of sitting with people as they process past, present, and future events in their lives.  Past events full of pain or questions so often get stuffed down in the moment and then we rarely take the time to unpack things.  Current events that challenge our internal and external lives, we can run to coping mechanisms to numb the pain…how is your jammed-packed schedule…have you ever asked “Do I busy myself to avoid what is going on inside of me?”.  Future events, and wondering what will happen, bring enough anxiety to paralyze us when we don’t wait to reflect that God is the author and perfecter of our faith, of our stories.

I once had a teacher say that spiritual direction is “watching the one I love, love another”.

I couldn’t hold that statement when I first heard it.

My own story, my own pain, my misplaced feelings of worth, my worry that I would always be overlooked, they challenged this simple statement, “Watching the one I love, love another”.

Would God run out of love by the time He got to me?

But then God through His kindness began to invite me to face my trauma.  To let Him gently grab the boxes on the shelves of my soul and bring them to the ground so we could open them…

How did He do that?

He gave me a spiritual director to help me unpack the past, present and future parts of my story.

Then He began to send me people who needed a spiritual director, people who had walked similar paths that I did and needed someone who could empathize, listen & more importantly look for where God was/is/will be in their stories.

He began to heal me and He showed me how He was in their stories, just like He has been and will continue to be in mine, fulfilling His promise “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you” – Deuteronomy 31:8

Maybe you are like me, maybe it is hard to understand experiencing love by watching someone you love, love another, maybe you have asked, will there be enough love left over for me?…

I realized the other day that I was going to have to make sure a tradition took place this year, a tradition that I haven’t had to prepare, plan and implement over the 15 years of being a mom.

Egg dying

Every year my momma has bought, boiled, cooled, and brought everything known to man to decorate Easter eggs for my babies. Working in the ministry field, often Holy Week is a busy one, which means that the days leading up to Easter are packed with making sure people have moments to reflect on the greatest example of Love being displayed.

This year my momma is in Oregon, visiting her Ocho, my Squish, my niece.  She is busy taking her on many adventures.  She spent Palm Sunday with her, they have explored the zoo, eaten their way through Portland, and more importantly will be dying eggs together.

And you know what?

My heart is overflowing.


Because my Squish is getting to experience extravagant love from her Naani. She is finding out what it is like to hear my mom giggle when little fingers drop eggs in the bowl too quick and crack the shell. She is going to laugh when Squish debates trying the dyed water or when she spills it. She will bring out the worst candy known to mankind, peeps, and let Squish eat them until she is full.

I am thankful I have been able to experience the one I love, loving others.  As I sit and listen to stories that leave me with tears of sadness and healing.  As I get to ask questions, given to me by the Spirit of God alive in me, that lead them to the gentle awareness that God’s fingerprints are all over their stories.  As I ask and get to pray and hold them up to the God that gave up everything for them and me.  I am experiencing the love of the Father.

Tomorrow we will be celebrating the resurrection of our Savior.

“I was once lost, but now I am found

I was blind, but now I see”

I am sitting here amazed that I have gotten to know what healing feels like, and looks like and yes still am waiting to experience it in other areas of my life.

But guess what?

As I get to watch the one I love, love another, my hope is renewed.  My heart is made glad.

Just like I get to smile and laugh at each picture and video my mom is sending me of her and Squish, I can’t wait to experience that Love tomorrow and the days to come. 

I keep hearing God whisper “Do you want to get well?”

Do you want to experience healing?  Do you want God to resurrect areas in your life that you thought was dead?  Do you need emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual healing?

Are you going to Jehovah Rapha, The God Who Heals?

Tomorrow we will celebrate the Savior that defeated death and the grave and in return gives abundant life to all who call on Him, “But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” – Acts 2:21

Do you want to get well?

Do you want to know what extravagant love is like?

Do you want to know what it is like to get JOY watching God love others?

Run to the throne room tomorrow

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most” – Hebrews 4:16

Don’t worry Mom…Richard is on his way to Walmart to get the egg dye…

We love and miss you, fill up Squish’s love cup in the ways you have done time and time again with the Harney 5 pack. Thanks for being a tangible example of God’s love for His children

Need a place to go tomorrow? Join us

376 Old Homestead Rd  or watch LIVE on

9:30 – family pics and brunch

10:30 – service

12:30 – egg hunt

I will leave you with our family pics that our church does every year! One of my must do traditions ❤️

Sunday is coming!!!