Today is the 7th night that Ezzy will have spent in the hospital…crazy right?
It has been an interesting time, some moments surreal and others painfully apparent that we are missing part of our family. Its in the morning when we would normally be all encouraging her to get her vest on or Kyre running to the fridge to grab her nebulized meds its real. Its especially real when we sit down to eat a meal or have a snack and I reach for the enzyme bottle.
The moment that I knew we were all going to be okay is really personal, I am struggling with sharing it with you all now, only for the mere fact that some of you will think I am utterly insane. With that said, I have a shred of confidence in the fact that I am suppose to share it with one of you readers, don’t know who, but someone is suppose to hear what gave me confident hope, better yet who.
Sunday morning, I was leading worship, it hadn’t even been 24 hrs of Ezzy’s hospitalization. Richard told me to not call off leading, to keep doing what we are suppose to be doing, because Ezzy was in Nana’s care and we couldn’t all camp out all day in her hospital room. I fought him at first, but then as I digested what he had shared, I came to realize that he was right. Leading worship is precious to me, its a weighted honor, an immense privilege that Christ would see me fit to do so. In order for me to lead the way God has called me to, it involves complete reverence to his presence, I typically envision leading worship in his throne room, worshiping at his feet.
I was pushing my issues with Ezzy’s recent situation out of the way, trying to just see him, to soak in every word, making sure my head and heart believed them. We were singing the song “How great is our God”. During the chorus of the song I all of a sudden received a heavenly vision while we sang these words:
“How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, All will see
How great, How great
Is our God”
Ezzy was sitting on her hospital bed and I could see a band of angels circling around her. They weren’t armed and ready for a fight, instead they were swaying to the music and they were singing the words, shouted them for all to hear! The battle was one, no forces of hell would touch her, he body was resting in safety.
In that moment, as the tears fell from my face, I was given an anointed peace that the world can’t and won’t take away.
We could easily fool ourselves that we don’t matter to others, that Ezzy’s battle, sometimes silent is one that we have been punished to fight, that is what the world wants us to believe.
Yet as we shared with you the unexpected sudden turn of events, we were immediately lifted up by so many of you.
7 nights is a really long time to be going through what we are all going through, yet Ezzy’s resilience is infectious.
Each time I see her, thank you Face time, aside from the one call that had her in tears, thanks to the impending procedure to get her PICC line put in, she has been spunky, full of smiles and a mischievous plan to get under her daddy’s skin. She is being tenderly cared for by amazing staff who know how to care for little ones fighting big scary battles. Her days are filled with arts and crafts, her room is covered in her therapy. There is no limitation to how much food she can eat, 24 hrs a day fresh fatty soft bacon can be sent her way. The hours of therapy, being connected to her dancing partner i.e. IV stand and being isolated from any other patients hasn’t taken away her spirit.
Thankfully two night ago, they cleared her to take a little stroll in the hospital garden. I was informed it was a mini vacation for both daddy and Ezzy after 5 hospital days in the “hole”.
A friendly neighborhood cat became their friend and they were rejuvenated after their adventure.
With each conversation I have had with Richard and Ezzy I have been affirmed that we are all being taken care of and well. My sweet friend set up meals for me each night they are gone, knowing the chaos would result in last minute cold cereal dinners. Just in time too, since my oven door decided to explode…don’t worry, no fires, but it was no good. Another friend went on a run with me and has reminded me to hydrate as we prepare for the race, another friend watched the girls so I could leave for an hour and do something by myself. We have played at the beach and playground and kept busy by my thoughtful friends.
I was even told that many of Ezzy’s classmates have made a prayer circle with a heart rock they found. Everyday they go and put flowers and anything their little hearts and find, while they miss their friend and send the purest of prayers to Heaven.
Many of you have been texting both richard and I making sure we are ok and don’t need anything…thank you, really, we are having the blinders pulled daily and being shown that so many of you care, that the battle Ezzy is fighting isn’t silent.
It is with some sadness that I have to wake tomorrow morning and run the 1/2 marathon without Richard. If you were to ask him, he is okay with this arrangement. We have been training for almost 2 months, raising awareness and funds for Ezzy to receive a therapy dog. But I was really looking forward to doing this as a unit, doing this for our daughter together. Yet, God already has taken care of this, I have friends running for Team Ezzy tomorrow, I will not be alone. A friend even created decals for my shirt and pants.
(we will be selling them by donation, to raise funds for Team Ezzy)
So as you wake tomorrow and see, cross your fingers, as drizzle falling from the sky (I did NOT train for this crazy heat wave we are having) say a prayer for me. Pray that I am safe, I don’t roll my ankles and that as I pound out each stride on the pavement I am reminded that God knows, He sees, He answers our hearts cries. Pray that Ezzy keeps fighting, that her strength never wanes, that her healing will be a proof that God’s hand is over her precious little life. Rest assured that this little girl who is walking a difficult road isn’t walking alone, thanks to her angel band around her!