A light in the darkness

Dear Veil Eden,

You are 4 yrs old today!!! There was a moment of stillness that I was enjoying this morning, where your little tiny soul entered into and I couldn’t help but smile because your presence is never intrusive or unwanted. Truth be told, we all want you, we want your affection, your words of affirmation and your sassy little self.

Recently I was recalling the day of your birth. The anticipation as well as the awareness that you were going to be it. There would be no more labor and delivery ward. There would be no more testing of my strength and limits as I labored with yet another Harney baby. There would be no more little hospital bands with the label, Harney baby.

I have spent the last 4 years enjoying every single moment of your existence. Yes, including the months I carried you in my womb. You were loved immensely by your siblings before they even held you. You had story time from Kyrene, your brother made sure that you heard his voice daily and Ya’el asked about you every day. Ezrah, she made sure that I was always tended too, water, snack, hugs, she knew what the big belly meant and she wanted to make sure I was taken care of.

So much has taken place in the last 4 years of your life.

I didn’t blink.  I didn’t fall asleep at life.  You helped me make sure to stay present in every moment.

Every first was a last for us as your parents and siblings. We treasured each of your milestones. You had a full-on crowd of spectators as you learned to take your first steps, talk and do many other rights of passage. Behind you has been a family that has known you are the last chapter of making space for another.

Was it hard to make room? Sure, we all had to shift and learn how to adapt to yet another family member’s need.  But you Bean, made it easier than the rest.

Veil Eden, Bean Bean, Veil-Z, baby, Veil Eden Bean Harney

We sure love you

There isn’t a morning that doesn’t go by without you holding the remote at ransom, standing toe to toe with the older sibling that THINKS they might actually win the battle. The amount of cereal you can pack away leave us wondering where it all goes. You walk into my room every morning and ask me “are you done with your tea yet”, knowing that you are going to get the first hug of the day. You greet your dad with “so you decided to finally show up” when he walks in the door for lunch and you always make sure that your brother doesn’t assume your love is expected, but instead earned. You have learned that Ezrah is going to be your second mommy, whether you like it or not, but secretly I know you do, even if you question her every step of the way. Kyrene drives you crazy, but I think that is because you are both creative, love to imagine and see things the polar opposite from the other. Boo, is your favorite person, outside of me and Nana, honestly, she ranks the highest.

Me? You let me know with every “momma” that I hold your heart in my hands. Your arms held up to me all throughout the day, remind me of all the times you insisted on laying your head against my chest to hear my heart beat…something you still do. You kiss me non stop and usually are the one to get me sickest the most, because you are always in my face.

I can’t wait to see what this next year brings. You have grown up so fast this last year. I credit COVID and being stuck in an 1800 sq ft home with a highly verbal home. You interrupted us in the middle of a conversation and asked “is this appropriate for me?” when something didn’t sit right. When I have done something that you didn’t anticipate, you have said “I didn’t expect you to do that”. And when you ask to pray for someone, I always pay attention, because your discernment is something to not ignore. You were and are whispered secrets from Heaven, because God knew you would listen.

You are the tiniest Harney we have ever raised; I think it’s because God was being too kind to us. Everything you do, comes with extra joy and blessings, because you are so tiny. Your voice is tiny, your little feet still look like baby feet. Your body…we just graduated you to 3t and you are now 4 yrs old.

You know who you are, what you want and you are not afraid to say it. I pray that is something that never goes away. That people don’t mistake your tiny frame and assume you are something to defeat.

You speak out to fear and things that are dark and say, “I don’t like that”. You are quick to pray and remind us that Jesus is in our hearts, in our homes and everywhere. You don’t let the darkness of the world steal your light.

So today, Veil Eden Harney, we celebrate you. In the middle of stupid COVID, you were able to understand why we couldn’t do a party. You accepted it, because you know what the “bug” is.

We sure loved celebrating your precious soul today. We are giving thanks for God’s plans that were always bigger than ours, because you baby girl are the icing on the cake. I think daddy and Ezzy should be the ones responsible for family birthday cakes.

As you blow out your candles, I smile, because the world may try with all their might, but it will never be able to put your light out.

Happy birthday my favorite 4 yr old!