SO…you know those days that you want to crawl in a hole and die, yes, THOSE days?!?

Lately I have found my patience to be on the lacking end, yeah being utterly wiped thanks to the little one stealing all my reserves is a big part in that, but school is getting to me.  I am currently in my last two weeks, spending spare time in the evenings researching to prepare for my 10-12 page papers.  Some might say, hey you have a blog, writing shouldn’t be hard…yeah, about that, I only like to write if it’s on MY time.  I was on the website of a worship team Richard and I saw during my worship conference in October.  The team is starting a campaign on mother’s day and it will go till father’s day.  Its sole purpose is to challenge, equip, and propel parents into a meaningful prayer time each day for their children.

“Dear LORD I come a desperate man
Just trying to do the best I can
I know my children look to me
So I’m on my knees cause it’s
You they need”

I will be the first to admit that I can sometimes forget to really pray over my children.  I mean don’t get me wrong, I pray for them, but sometimes it’s along the lines of  “God, can you show me why you made them like this, i.e. as they are throwing their coat on the library floor and stomping their foot with steam coming out of their 4 yr old head”.  Not really constructive prayers, I might add.  I watched the first video that explained why the worship team felt called to start a campaign and immediately was convicted to be a part of it.

“Would you steal their hearts
As you call their names
In a broken world
Trying to do the same
Would you let them see the
Majesty of who you are
Oh LORD, would you steal their hearts”

Lately Cayden has had a hard time with a certain child at his school.  This girl is mean, just plain mean.  I know, the first rule is to not believe everything your child says about things that happen when you are away from them, BUT, we have tried various ways of approaching the issue.  Nothing has seemed to help; even my veteran mom has gotten involved.  When we finally exhausted our resources we were left telling him to pray for this child…should have been our first plan of attack.  Then one night during bedtime prayers I heard him go one step further and pray “God, will you help (child’s name) see how beautiful she is, that her glasses don’t make her look funny, help her to see what I see when I look at her”.  Something must have clicked in his heart, because he has seen behavior change from his bully and witnessed the power of prayer and decided to go to God about something else.  I wish I had the courage to keep asking even when I don’t see my prayers answered.

“I’ll try to lead them by your truth
I’ll tell them life is found in you
But even that won’t be enough
Because only YOU can reveal your love”

We had the opportunity to see Ezzy gracefully step into the role of big sister the other night. While daddy and I were resting on the bench, we watched her place her helmet on Kyre’s head and help her up on her bike and slowly push her around the docks.  It was in that moment that I really began to see that God wants to shape my children’s hearts, but I am getting in the way.  Thanks to my husband who had to throw out a disclaimer before challenging me, I learned that Ezzy and I can have a super challenging relationship and my stubbornness isn’t helping.  I had to recently apologize to her the other day.  She made me SO mad, I reacted, and before I could withdraw my choice, I knew that I was wrong.  It took me hours to calm down, I was so angry at myself that I couldn’t even cry.  Finally when I was able to say the words, I grabbed hold of her and said “mommy is sorry, I should have never acted that way” her response was “it’s ok mommy”, I was immediately embraced by a lingering hug and then she went about her day.  I don’t deserve her, really.  I should be finding it a great privilege to get on my knees and have purposeful prayer for my babies.

“Would you steal their hearts
As you call their names
In a broken world
Trying to do the same
Would you let them see the
Majesty of who you are
Oh LORD, would you steal their hearts”

Why are you getting so bothered by this Sarah?  Well, to be utterly honest, it’s because I am all too aware of the fact that my mom didn’t need a prayer campaign to daily cover me in prayer.  She didn’t need a worship leader with a nose ring to make a fancy youtube video, she just did it.  There were probably worn out circles by her bedside because she watched her teenager slip away from her.  When Richard entered the picture as her new son in law, she again took on the role of a parent and fervently prayed for his salvation as well.

“That they would know your great mercy
And walk in all your ways
That the days would overflow
With peace and love
May they see the sweet salvation
And your amazing grace
Cause one day I know I’ll have to let them go”

Richard and I are living proof of what a parent’s heart can do when it makes its mind up to really PRAY for their child/ren.  I may have shackles that find their way back around my ankles, I may have people, thanks to the small town, that don’t want me to think I have a chance of being a new creation in Christ, BUT through it all I have a merciful father who tells me that I am worth it, baggage and all.

Even though I spent my entire 17 yrs under the roof of a Proverbs 31 woman, I still found myself severed from God.  I still found myself being so good at living a double life that I convinced those around me that I wasn’t making bad choices, because my grades and outward appearance didn’t resemble the rough crowd.  I entered college severed from God, quieting the still small voice and continuing to make choices I will forever live with.

So as I am watching my son make hard decisions, deal with peers who have different home environments, that will one day try to lead him down the road I ran down, I know I need to be mindful when praying for his soul.

As I watch Ezzy find so much relief and pleasure in trying to control her entire atmosphere at all costs, especially mom’s patience, I pray and hope that the anger and frustration that plague her little 4 yr old heart, won’t be there to rob her from the ONLY source of Hope.

Soon Kyre will start to come into who she is even more, so far, I rarely see the innate naughty behavior in her.  She loves life, she finds joy in everything she does, and there is no need to be serious when she could have the choice to be silly.  I pray Richard and I will help her foster her bright look on life, that we won’t let the world beat her up and force her into only black and white, like her mommy sees things.

Mother’s day, May 11th the harneys will be starting this campaign, if you want to join us, please let us know, we would LOVE to have other parents meet with us join together calling on God to:

“Would you steal their hearts
As you call their names
In a broken world
Trying to do the same
Would you let them see the
Majesty of who you are
Oh LORD, would you steal their hearts”

Watch this brief video if you want to better understand!