6 years ago, I held a tiny little human who was the result of our lives intertwined together on our journey of married life. We were so anxious for Cayden, I had been going in for daily stress tests since he decided to enter the world on his time and not on his due date. We had gotten up, stuffed our faces on a late breakfast and were heading out the door for a hike when my midwife called us in. She said “today is going to be the day” she was getting ready to be off for a few days and didn’t want to miss his arrival. I came in expecting to be told again that my body wasn’t ready. Within a few minutes I was asked “did you feel that?”, I told the nurse yes, that I had been feeling those sensations for the last day and figured they were Braxton Hicks…apparently I was wrong and was in full blown labor!
As everyone was getting dressed in their best sunday attire and possibly having Easter Egg Hunts before heading to an Easter service, we were in the hospital with newly acquired titles that seemed unreal. It was traumatic birth, leaving Cayden rushed to the NICU and me being fervently worked on. It was all a blur, I held him for just a few minutes and he was gone and my consciousness soon started to fade. Richard was torn on who to be with, but was assured by my mom that she would take care of her baby and he should go and take care of his.
All I wanted after 12 hours of pitocin (thanks to my body stalling out), was a dr. pepper, some jojos, and a bbq ck snacker from Kentucky Fried Chicken. Thankfully uncle Jonny had saddle bags on his motorcyle and he stuffed the food on one side and then drove ever so carefully with the soda between his legs to the starving new mom. Aunt Frances showed up at the house with a red bull in hand to pick-up the new dad that had passed out on the bedroom floor after a quick trip home to shower and change clothes.
Even though we were far away from our family in Alaska, we had formed our own family in Arizona. Our friends who were not married, engaged or parents surrounded us and made sure we were prepared for his arrival. Kelley threw a baby shower that left us not having to buy diapers for 4 months! Our pastors came and annointed cayden with oil and prayed over his life. My mom and sister stayed with us and made sure that we got settled in our first week of parenthood. We could barely keep our eyes open and were so thankful we had help.
Cayden Harney, I will never forget the day you learned your first name is actually William, pure terror was expressed and your 3 yr old self could not comprehend why on earth we called you Cayden.
You recently told us how you felt called to tell people about God, how your new school never mentions something that your soul longs to know and share, so much so that you will corner your teacher and friends and ask them if they know who God is…just to then be given a mini sermon from your 6 yr old heart that explains who your maker is.
Will you be an evangelist when you are grown? Your courage, your love to seek justice, but to also give mercy astounds me at times. You can’t help but share your discovery of God’s truth!
You interrupted me one early morning during my bible study and wanted to know about the lamb’s book of life, about the Tower of Babel, and how to make sure people get their names in that sacred book. After having a theological debate at 6:30 am you, you looked at me and said, “well my name is in that book” and then quietly got down, sat and watched mind numbing Sponge bob.
You can drive us girls up the wall without even trying, there are days when you torment me so much that I’m almost giddy as I approach your school, knowing that we will get a few hours away from your mind that is ALWAYS going.
Then there are moments when I don’t want you to leave us, like the other morning when you built a fort for your sister who didn’t want to do therapy and was close to sending me over the edge. How you have asked to go and wake the girls each morning of spring break this week so that you could be the first one to fill the 2 yr old’s love cup up. You patiently waited your turn on Fat tuesday as daddy slaved away making crepes, as we ate them faster then he made them. Then you offered up your turn in line over and over because “mommy and the baby needed” them more then you.
We have to tell you on a regular basis how old you are to explain why we are having to say no. Yes, sometimes we are saying your age because we need to remind ourselves, that you are still a little guy.
Daddy and I were talking about your birthday and we couldn’t believe that YOU are the reason we are parents, YOU are the reason we started to live for someone other then ourselves, YOU are the reason your daddy found his salvation, in your’s and our maker, you gave him drive to finally finish school to provide for his new family…
I can’t believe the depth of your understanding, your heart, your love for people, especially when they don’t deserve it. All that I know is that the purpose God created you for is going to be more then my mind can comprehend.
Thank you for modeling unconditional love with me. There are times you know me better then anyone else, because you have spent so much time with me behind closed doors, watched me push you aside when we lived in the Ronald McDonald house while Ezzy was in the hospital, comforted me when the lonely life we were suddenly called to got to me, yelled at me to stop picking up stuff when pregnant with Kyre, just to offer to do it for me, and now stop me when I walk by you and cup your hands in a funnel to share your thoughts with the baby sister that has yet again made your mom many times be inpatient with you. You have never held my faults over my head in the 6 yrs I have been learning to be your momma, a mom that many times has to seek God on how to be because my human nature gets the best of me.
We love you little man, we are so thankful for the call God has placed on your life, we can’t imagine a day without your sarcasm and we know your insight to life’s problems many times leaves us humbled and honored to be your parents! Happy 6th birthday, my favorite and thank God, only son 🙂