Dear Bean,

Today you are 6 years old! 

I was just telling someone that your baby years seem so far away and I strain at times to fully remember all the details. You were put into a family that lives and breathes chaos. You had multiple sets of hands and arms that wanted to hold you even before you were born. Do you know that Kyre use to read stories to you when you were in my tummy? I remember wondering if you would walk on time because there was always someone that wanted to carry you.

Recently you told me that you didn’t want to have anymore babies in our house, after having your cousin Squish for a visit. When I asked why, you told me “because I want to be the baby”. You stood on the side lines and watched everyone want Squish, you included, but you decided that was a throne you did not want to leave for the Harney family.

There is something so soft and sweet about your eyes. I love it when we are in a room full of people and I scan it and find that you have been looking at me, waiting for me to find your eyes. Your face scrunches a little and you give me a smile that tells me that I have your whole heart. In fact, everyone in the family knows that I am your favorite and you don’t hesitate to tell your siblings that you are mine.

The doctors tell us that you are just going to be the tiny one. The growth charts were never something you aspired to beat Cayden on, your baby chub never reached Boo’s status, Ky may have weighed less than you at birth, but you have remained so small.

We laugh when people ask how old you are after you spill adult words out of your mouth.

You are a pint size boss that we all know.

I love hearing your thoughts, because you don’t wait to filter them out.  In fact, I think you are just like your daddy in that way.  You say exactly what you are thinking and don’t worry about what it might do to the listeners.

When you were told by Boo that you couldn’t have a boyfriend, because you are too young, your response was “You can’t keep love from me!”.  When your dad insisted that wearing heels to church in the rain would be a bad idea, you told him “not even the rain can stop me from wearing heels”.  When I told you to pack a swimsuit for a summer day with Naani, after days and days of beach time, you fought back and said “It’s my choice if I want to get wet and I don’t want too!”.  When your dad was in a conversation with me during a rushed church morning and not paying attention to you, you stomped your foot and said “Ricardo, I’m talking to you!”

You never lack knowing your desires.  You tell us what you want, how you want it and when you want it.  I wish that I was that bold to say exactly what I want, how much I could spare myself from frustrations when I expect others to just read my mind.

Even though the baby years seem to be slipping from my memories, I am so thankful that you are still showing us that you are just a little kid. You still need help tying your shoes, you need me to brush your teeth every night, you need us to cut your food for you and you need us to hold you when you get hurt.

Dear Veil Eden, I treasure the laughter that you ensue when you run your mouth. I love how you find the joy in every situation. I love that you don’t demand to be known in all your settings, but instead gently earn the trust of people’s attention. I love that whenever there is music playing I find you dancing, but baby girl I love watching you dance when there is no music, because I know you are listening to the music in your heart. I love how your tiny body still fits in my arms. I love your bravery and how you taught yourself to swim in May while visiting family in Arizona. I love that even though your big brother has turned into an unfriendly teenager, you still wield your powers and can make him do anything for you. I love that your sisters still fight over who gets your love the most.

To my sweet caboose, I am so thankful God gave you to us. Just thinking of you right now, I have a smile on my face and this urge to come and find you so that you will wrap your arms around me and say “there is my sweet sweet mama”.

Happy birthday Veil Eden, Bean, Veil-z, sweet thang!