A reflection of His Love

Early summer mornings were filled with listening to little feet run down the hallway in frantic steps.  She figured out quickly that having accidents was not the way she wanted to start her days.  We would stumble out of our room, bed head, only able to see with squinted eyes.  There she would be sitting on the toilet.  “I had to go potty, I don’t want to go in my bed”.  With the same hurried feet that led her to the bathroom, she would race back to bed and tuck in.

Veil Eden

We go places and I have people ask me her age, after listening to her have a conversation with me or her siblings.  Usually there is a perplexed look on their faces.  I am use to it and most of the time, I can’t help but smile freely.  I quickly inform them, “well, she is the youngest of 5 kids, she learned if she wanted to communicate, she had better talk clearly”.  

This little turkey did so well at her preschool screen at the ripe old age of 2.5 that when she finished, I was told, “she did really great, she is really smart”.  Which meant, don’t get your hopes up that she will be in need of early preschool programs.  She didn’t qualify for any speech help…

Its been such an interesting balance with her.  I have found in the 3 years of being her momma that I was blessed to really embrace the tender years of infancy and toddlerhood.  She didn’t have to fight for space, she didn’t have to be set aside so I could run and attend to another baby.  When she turned 2, I felt like I was experiencing a phase that was so foreign.  Every time I had a 2-yr. old since 2010, I had a newborn baby.  But this last year, Veil Eden has remained my baby.

She has been held longer on school mornings, many times after nap time I can be found curled up in her bed with her, waiting for her to wake up and start the second part of her day.  When I am trying to cook dinner and her little arms reach up to be held, there is no one else in line, in front or behind of her.  Truth be told, the majority of the time she is the one that I look for when I first come home from running errands, work, etc.  Who wouldn’t want to be greeted with “hi momma!” followed up with a running start to land in my arms?

Veil Eden, she sees the world with JOY filled sunglasses.  So many times, throughout the day we hear her laugh to herself.  It could be at the dog, the blue jay that has flown on the tree branch that hangs over our dining room table window, but the absolute best is when she laughs and we can’t see what it was, because she has just witnessed something that we were too busy to stop and see.

Always the first one to point out the bird flying over the ocean water, the cruise ship sailing through our small town, the salmon berry on the branch, the fish jumping in the stream.  God’s creation hasn’t lost its majesty to her, she doesn’t take those things for granted.

I have watched her be the buddy that each sibling needs.  

For Cayden she is his adventure buddy.  He is always taking her to experience something new, at times I get nervous, but then I watch how he fiercely he protects her.  He never leads her to harm, but instead is wanting to show her the big world, but deep down he wants to see it through her eyes.  I don’t know if he has ever loved someone as much as he loves her.

Ezzy searches her out when life gets too much.  When she needs an excuse to work out what she is facing though playtime.  She will find dolls, get out art supplies or turn on baby cartoons and hold her tight while they both laugh together.  For Ezzy, Veil has become therapeutic support.

Kyrene, the name that Veil only knows to use, in all these years of being around us, she refuses to call her Kyre, but instead always by her full name.  Kyrene can be overwhelmed with the placement of family members and fighting to believe she has a place.  When those days come, I find that Veil is permanently attached to Kyre’s hip.  Going all the places that Kyre wants to go and not be alone.  Kyrene finds comfort in caring for her, offering to shower her, get her dressed, put her down for bed with a book.  Veil has become someone that Kyrene can serve and love when she doesn’t feel loved.

Ya’el doesn’t for a second let Veil forget that she is the big sister placed in Veil’s life to teach her ALL about the world.  There are constant instructions on “this is how you get ready for school,this is how you put away the silverware, this is how you put your shoes on, this is how you brush your teeth…”  Their friendship is so deep, I can’t tell if the love is because they are siblings or if it is because they are truly friends.  They do everything together.  I need to worry if I don’t see Veil with Ya’el, which means Veil has found something to explore and is finding trouble.  Ya’el has coached her through potty training, through weaning, through sleeping through the night.  Ya’el has big plans for her sister and is making sure that she doesn’t forget that she is capable of anything she sets her mind on.

If you dare to enter into our home and sit your body down at our breakfast bar and blend into the background or better yet just sneak in (we probably wouldn’t even notice – we have yet to have a day without extra bodies in our home) you would see that we can’t stop smiling when she talks to us.  Her voice is so gentle, so sweet.  She can carry on full conversations with you and you will wonder how she learned to talk that way.  The other day she told me “I wasn’t expecting you to do that”. 

You will find her on the counter when brother is loading the dishwasher.  She will sit on the toilet and have early morning conversations with daddy while he showers.  Her favorite spot to sit at the table will always have spilled milk and some remnants of cereal left behind.  Her clothes never match, but they are at least put on the right way 85% of the time.  If she is in my arms, its because we both need our heartbeats to sync and settle each other, leave us be, just give us 5 minutes and we will be able to keep going about our day.  Music will bring out her artistic talents and you will WANT to watch her little recital.

Veil Eden, today you are 3 years old.  I haven’t blinked, I can’t even say where has the time gone?  You have filled each day on earth with this all-encompassing awareness that you were the perfect soul to end the baby years with.  

You have been loved by so many in your short 3 years.  Your tender smile is something that makes grown men stop and talk to you at the grocery store.  I will never forget when an old nana stopped and saw your gentle eyes and she couldn’t help but stop what she was doing and come over and tell you that you were the most precious little girl she had ever seen.  Peace, peace that others crave can be found just by being in your presence.  God is so good to grace this dark world with your gentle soul.  

I pray that you will continue to marvel at all that God has made and find comfort that you are one of his beautiful creations.  I hope that you never lose your JOY filled sunglasses, life is too short to go without laughing.  I pray that God will always give you the gift to love others just the way they need, that you will be the reflection of His deep love for them.  I also pray that God will watch over you, placing His angels all around you, because this world can’t stand bright lights and always tries to take them out.  I also pray that because you have been given the gift to communicate so clearly that you will be one that can speak for those who don’t have a voice, that your words will be heard and taken seriously. 

Veil Eden, sweet bean, love doesn’t seem like an adequate word to use when I try to convey how I feel for you.  But it will have to do sweet girl.  Happy birthday, can’t wait to see how God continues to reveal His deep love through you this next year

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