Leadership skills, it’s what I tell myself multiple times during the day when I find myself standing up to the 4 foot giant of a leader that is embodied in her tiny little body that forces it’s way into my lap most mornings. She shoves my arms up to make room,while I try to sip the last of my hot tea.

Asking for your opinion is not something that you will find her do.  She states things, clear as day.  Her statements are affirmative, no wavering.  She has come to a conclusion and is certain of her beliefs.  Don’t try to sway her otherwise.  She will not back down.

It’s not coming from a seed of superiority that some might think when they hear such confidence coming from such a tiny little soul.  Quite frankly it is because she has weighed the options, she has taken into account what could be and she has determined what she believes to be true.  She doesn’t decide things on a whim.  There is so much thought put into what she decides to speak on.  I will catch her in a packed room, most of the time here in our house. 7 people + ALL the neighbor kids that have found they are always welcome fill the place up. There she will be, quietly folded in the kitchen chair, dark black eyes surveying the conversations around her, watching how other conduct themselves.  She is quiet, her eyes move from person to person, you can see the wheels are turning at a rapid pace.  

You might miss it if you don’t know her.  You might think that she is just quietly sitting, unaffected by the room of people living their lives, but she isn’t, she has already made up in her mind what you need or how she might have said or done something differently.

She loves, she loves so well.  Like a minimum of 3 kisses at bed time, 1 for each cheek and 1 on the forehead.  Every tight squeeze around the neck is counted outloud.  Having a bad day?Her little arms will hold you tighter and they will squeeze you until you feel like you are going to pass out.  Sometimes her independence can make you think she doesn’t need you.  Sometimes you feel as though she is putting up with you, but its when you walk out of a room, far enough away that gentle conversations can’t be had, you will find her on your heels. Wondering why you left her bubble.  She gets life from other people’s energy.

They way she cares for Veil makes us want to keep her like this forever.  She is so patient, always trying to teach Veil how to be a big kid.  She helps Veil go back to bed when they get up WAY to early on the weekends.  She will fix Veil’s shoes when they are on the wrong feet, only after watching Veil put them on wrong and waiting for Veil to realize she needs her help.  She will always push her “super high” on the swing, even when Veil has had more turns then her.  She will make sure that when a snack or treat is being dished out, that Veil will not be left out.

In just the last few months there has been a shift in her.  Her eyes have been set on the fact that she is going to kindergarten this fall, how she will be in school all day like her siblings.  No more pickups after lunch by daddy and quite afternoons while Veil naps.  She has asked her family to help her count down the days until she turns 5.

She has dreams, she already knows that she is going to grow up and get married and move away one day.  Something that her siblings grappled with when they were older than her.  It’s a fact she has accepted in a way to either help herself cope or maybe help her momma cope. She recently informed me, “when I am a mom, I am going to live in Hawaii, so that you will come and visit me and take care of my kids”.

Oh Boo, you had me at when “I become a mom”…Hawaii would just be a bonus

Ya’el Ariel Ruth, you are 5 years old today.

I have not ever taken you for granted.  The little life lost, before I ever had a chance to hold them, paved a way for you to be cherished beyond all measure.   I wanted you, even though you were such a shock for us.  You came into the world, wide awake, ready to take on the world.  You slept so peacefully on daddy’s chest for weeks, making sure that he would never ever be able to deny his need for you.  You nursed like a champion and I wondered if you were every going to wean.  Veil took care of that for us.  You have always had a glimmer in your eyes, even as a baby, I knew that if I saw that look to be aware of what you would be doing in the coming minutes.  Even now, I treasure the times something happens or a family member is being obnoxious, because I look for you.  I have learned that what I am thinking is no longer carried by me and only me, I know that I can look you in the eyes and we both read each others’ souls and find comfort in knowing we aren’t the only ones who think or see things the way we do.

I hope that you always pull me into the room where the music is blasting and say “come on mom, just dance!”.  I hope that you curl up in my lap when I am fighting my anxiety about the day ahead and encourage me to just breath as you pull my arms tight around you. I hope that you always look for the ones that need help and instead of doing all the work for them, you show them how to help themselves.  You are not an enabler; you are a teacher.

Ya’el Ariel Ruth, I pray God in his goodness continues to remind me that you are so strong because He made you to rise above, to not be afraid of your voice when the world so often tries to quiet women, esp. strong women, I pray that you will choose humility in the times your truth might not be the truth, that you always remember there are always 3 sides to a story: yours, theirs, and the truth.  I pray that God will give you abundance when it comes to loving others, that you will use the gift of discernment and choose to be His hands and feet.  I pray that you will always love big, that you will always love loud, and that you will always love God more then anything this world has to offer.

Happy birthday Boo