Since her first day here on earth, Ya’el has consumed the space she is in, you know when she is in a room, its like she has a magnetic pull. Your negative energy is drawn to her positive. I should have realized then her soul would have a power to draw people in. At just a few hours old, she was bright eyed, eyes wide open and I remember just staring right back at her, into her dark eyes.
Flash forward to 3 yrs later and I have to admit that she is still living her life with abandon. She sings at the top of her lungs, neck muscles strained, diaphragm engaged. Songs seem to be one thing that calms her need to always go, always think, always explore. When she is strapped to her car seat, freedom stripped from her, you will hear countless songs. Yes, she sings songs that you might recognize, even with her 3 yr old vocabulary skills. But most of the time the songs you hear will come from the many different things her little brain has processed.
Ya’el feeds off emotion, but not in the way her big sister Kyre does. Ya’el loves to observe, contemplate and reason why those emotions took place. She doesn’t need to take ownership of them and make everyone else aware of them, like Kyre does. What Yael does is ensure you know she sees and empathizes with you. She will stroke your hair after a hard day, hold your hand when tears seem to be beckoning your name, but she will jump and laugh if joy is something stirring up inside you too.
I have realized that when she carves a place inside your heart, it’s as if you need her to acknowledge your presence when she enters a room. It’s like when the guest of honor has finally shown up and you are praying deep inside that you will be pulled from the crowd and asked to sit in the place of honor next to them. I can’t explain it, but this is true about her. I watch it unfold everyday with her siblings and her few close people in her little world. She will stumble out of her room and daddy is first to say “morning boo bear” as he scoops her in his arms.
For me, it’s when I walk in the door after my morning workout and say hi to the big kids and look for those two little eyes that seem to have no iris, just to be met with them. There is rarely a smile, instead it’s as if she takes a moment to read me, then after I say “morning Boo”, she looks at me with a corner smile and says “morning momma”
This last year, watching Boo fly through the terrible twos was somewhat ok. I have had milder 2 yr olds and I have had stronger 2 yr olds. She had to spend most of this last year being replaced as the baby and graduating to big sister.
I was concerned her favorite spot in my arms that was diminishing quickly would leave an embittered toddler. This was the child that would smack my hand away when I began the weaning process after finding out about Veil and training for a half marathon. She would dig into my body and not relent. She knew what she wanted and even at 19 mos old was so firm and unwavering in it.
It has been with relief and thankfulness to watch Boo want to be a big sister. I think that cord of empathy woven deep within her makeup finally had a purpose in her little life. Veil has been soothed countless times with a gentle head rub and Ya’el’s current song of the day.
Richard has not only encouraged her trickster behavior but also welcomes it as a sign of love from his “favorite”. The kids all know they are loved equally and in moments of seeing Ya’el wrap her daddy tightly around her finger, they all pat her on her head and say “whatever you want favorite one”. Her favorite trick, the one I wish she would move on and find another is locking us in the pantry…she will sit in the kitchen while chaos is taking place and sounds can muffle her presence just enough to make her hidden and as soon as someone walks through that door, bam, we find ourselves at her mercy.
I am forever grateful for the people who have won affection from this terrific 3 yr old. It is a blessing to see the love she is given, because she loves so deeply. I have been told many many times by one of her favorites “can we just freeze her at this age?” I see the smiles that can’t be contained, the willingness to carry her around, push her on a swing, blow bubbles with her, or any other agenda she has created for the day.
The world is a brighter place because of her and when I see her slow down and take something in, I have trained myself to stop immediately, sit beside her or down at her level and look around. Because if is something causes this ball of energy to be still, then it’s worth finding out what it is.
Her dream of blowing bubbles and having lunch at the beach is on the agenda for her party when Kalli gets back. But her annual birthday number pancake will have to do until we can celebrate another year with our Boo bear and friends and family.
Ya’el Ariel Ruth, I thank the lord his plans for our family were bigger and crazier then we had hoped for. I don’t regret a single day putting my master degree on hold and have loved every single day of being your momma, even the day I told your dad all I wanted for Christmas was to never go grocery shopping with you again after the nightmare I experienced with your awful tantrum.
You have won me over and over with your spunk and I feel honored you are mine. I want and look forward to learning how to love and give empathy to those around me, knowing for certain you are going to teach me.