My village

I am going to get real with you…

Anyone else struggle to make their village?!?

I am pretty sure I have shared my past experience of not being the type of girl, young adult or now woman who has naturally fit in groups of women…
Women are emotional, messy, and dynamic all at the same time, because multitasking is what we do best, am I right?

This is and has been something that I have felt shame for or at times felt completely and utterly alone. I have been told that I am intense, too serious, hard to read or have an intimidating exterior. I have fought those labels, felt crushed and am still trying to not let those wounding words leave cuts that can’t be healed.

Why am I sharing this?

I recently was blessed by an intimidate baby shower thrown by two of my friends that went above and beyond to let me know that I am loved and that I am someone worth investing in.

There was this one time I heard another woman share that her circle of friends were not going to throw a baby shower for a woman within their circle because it was her 4th baby and she didn’t need to have a shower. That stayed with me. It made me believe that there is some sort of cap for baby shower etiquette and if your family design abuts societal norms then don’t be thinking your new little baby is worth being honored…

Richard and I talked one night and I told him that I didn’t expect anyone to take the role on to shower our family with this 5th baby. I was honestly really ok with it. When I passed the 1st trimester I started grabbing a package of diapers or nursing pads or anything I see that is a smart choice to purchase at the time. Being a family that is well over the recommended carbon foot print and being a one income family, I wanted to help ease the stress new babies always bring. I swear the tiniest, most vulnerable member of the family is the most expensive!

My very sweet friend who has 4 babies herself came to me and told me her plans. I almost cried, here was a friend that wanted to love on me and celebrate our newest addition.


 Along with another dear friend who is sadly moving from our small island, they worked as a team and prepared an afternoon that mirrored my heart, tastes and yes even a selfish want.

I loved how practical the decor was!  


Leave it to my two friends who are stay at home mommies and are always trying to be resourceful. I am going to treasure the hand made head bands that each of my girlfriends made for baby girl!


After I spent the afternoon surrounded by genuine real women I couldn’t help but feel so blessed to have finally found my village. My village isn’t comprised of just peers or being with the same religious beliefs either, which I really really love. It has taken time…31 yrs to be exact to find my sisters.  Some of us breastfeed, some don’t.  Some have multiple kids, some don’t, some cloth diaper and some don’t.  Some have super strong opinions on how to raise kids and some are just learning as they go, everyone of these ladies is special because they aren’t pretending to be someone else, they are being themselves.  It has taken me having to learn to hold back my stronger traits and wait and pray for ladies that won’t run the other direction from me. I have in these last few years been surrounded by women who encourage me, challenge me, see some good in me somehow and most of all actively choose to be in my life.  I wish I had pictures of all of you who came!  We had too much fun chatting 😉


To my village, to my sisters, thank you. Thank you for carving time in your busy lives to allow me to be a part of your stories and thank you for being who you are! I treasure you all so much more then I know I can say or at times show. Thank you for coming and assuring my overly sensitive hormone driven heart and telling me that this new little life coming is worth celebrating.


P.S.
I love love love my new carrier (even if my face didn’t say it!  I was holding back tears from your kindness) -you ladies are the best

“Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?  Th fruit of his womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.  Oh how blessed are you parents, with your quivers FULL of children!” ~Psalm 137:3-4

2 thoughts on “My village”

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