So I think that most of you who live by us have noticed Kyre has a little bling on her ears?!? It was a decision my husband made and had to follow through with on his own. I couldn’t bear the thought of taking new, sweet, tiny Kyre to get her ears pierced. Countless times we were asked if Ezzy and Kyre were boys as infants, thanks to their lack of hair and ridiculous amount of chub…the worst was when we were asked “whats his name?” (obviously ignoring the fuzzy pink bunting they were wrapped up in). So when I said I was ok with earrings, Richard marched back in…to be honest almost sprinted with kyre safely snuggled in her carseat, leaving me and the older kids in the car.
There are many times I think back to the decision that was made to get her ears pierced and realize how girly Kyre is. Kyre can fully walk in princess heels through out our home, which is mainly hard wood floors.
She NEVER goes a day without wearing atleast one tutu, if not 3 at the same time. Most of all, she loves to get in a princess dress and head to the livingroom and dance in circles. If richard or cayden are home, she will run to them and grunt to get their attention and patiently wait for them to say how pretty she is.
We had regretted not getting earrings for Ezzy when she was a baby. To be honest Ezzy was 6 months old the first time we even brought her inside a store. I am aware that might sound strange, even if you grasp a little on the world of CF. We were scared, well I don’t know if there is a word that describes how terrified we were about taking her in public. It didn’t help she was born in flu, whooping cough, and RSV season. We literally lived within our 4 walls and only ventured as a complete family to the outside world on Sundays were we knew we could somewhat control our environment, thanks to our amazing church family. Since we couldn’t stomach bringing her somewhere where overly friendly strangers would possibly want to touch her precious chubby cheeks or worse a sick person cough on her, there was NO way we were going to let a stranger pierce her ears.
After getting Kyre’s ears pierced we were sure Ezzy would want to follow suit. Well leave it to Ezzy to defy what is expected of her. We would ask her almost each time we went to Walmart if she wanted her ears pierced. We even asked when we were in AZ, her answer never changed. Don’t get me wrong, we NEVER pushed her, we just would ask her if she wanted earrings and when she said no, we would say “ok” and move on.
I had to wait to get my ears pierced…it was something that I had begun to dream about after watching my older sister get hers done. The rule was that I had to be 12 yrs old. Interestingly enough my little sister got hers at 9 yrs old, but who is paying attention right? I get why I had to wait, we were raised in a strict southern Pentecostal upbringing, and were breaking the norm by even getting our ears pierced. Waiting is something I think Richard and I can’t comprehend with Ezzy.
Well last week when doing a quick errand that I believed didn’t warrant a need to make sure teeth were brushed, pj’s were no longer on, and hair was brushed, Ezzy decided to throw a wrench in my morning. After dropping off our flat tire to get fixed, we drove by walmart and Ezzy quickly said, “mommy me get my ears pierced?”. I asked her if she was really, really sure. While looking in the rear view mirror, I saw my 3 yr old’s eyes light up and fists went in the air, followed with, “YES!”.
So there I was walking in to Walmart, un-showered, still in my gym clothes and thinking about the hot shower I had planned on taking after my planned 15 minute errand. Kyre still in PJs and rocking a milk mustache. Ezzy with matted hair, boots on the wrong feet, but masked with amazing determination as she led the charge to the jewelry department.
I brought her over to the jewelry kiosk to pick out her earrings. When I pointed out all the different designs (flowers, pink hearts, gold hearts, gold balls, and diamonds), my 3 yr old, didn’t even hesitate. Her immediate response was “DIAMONDS”, at the top of her lungs with so much enthusiasm.
She climbed up on the seat, with help from me since her little legs weren’t quite long enough. She sat there quietly and had a smile that no one could take away, not even the two strangers getting ready to use the piercing gun on her ears.
She shed a few tears after the initial shock of getting pierced and quickly reached for me to hold her. As I kneeled down to hug her and wipe her tears, I told her that she was “so big!”. When she was handed a mirror to see the new bling on her ears, the tears quickly dried up and the pain was long forgotten. What us women will do for the price of beauty.
There is a fine line between giving your child everything they want…I am very much aware of it. To be honest its something that has been in the back of my mind. I want to make sure Ezzy has a chance to experience everything her heart desires, but also want to make sure I don’t raise a brat. There have many SO many heartbreaking deaths of young children in the CF community recently. When I say young I am talking about elementary and young high-school aged kids. It literally takes my breathe away and I have to go and hold her tight and look her in the eyes and ask her if she knows how much I love her. Its so hard to not let fear dictate how to parent a child who is told 30s is what to expect if we can keep her healthy. I don’t want to have a single regret, even more as I am reading of parents saying goodby before they had the chance to take them to Disney, get their ears pierced, or let them go to their first dance.
I am part of a CF mom group on FB and I saw a mom post that she had a limo pick up her daughter from school for her 13th bday. I dont think this was an overindulgence, I actually loved the idea. Because to be honest, I think part of the reason I struggle with planning Ezzy’s Bday parties each year is because in a way I grieve its one less year of her life expectancy. Never mind the difficulty in trying to plan a party and making sure everyone is healthy last minute. It got me thinking that I should try to celebrate each day I have with her, and not grieve that she is getting older, and to try not to be scared that it means less time for me to hold her, dream of her future that is being tainted by an ugly disease.
I love how my girls run and seek their daddy’s and brother’s approval when they get dressed up. In the beginning I worried that my girls would only find self worth in a man’s eyes, and never feel confident unless they were told they were beautiful by them. But then I watched how Cayden came running to Ezzy when she told him in a teasing voice she got her ears pierced. He ran so fast, bent down and got a huge smile and said, “wow Ez, you are really pretty”. The smile on her face melted my heart. To be honest its my favorite thing to do, to watch my men stop what they are doing and tell our growing princesses they are beautiful, especially when they are yielding a light saber, hiding behind a batman mask, while gracefully wearing a princess dress. My men turn into mush, and tell the girls just what their hearts need to hear, that they are beautiful no matter what they are wearing.
I am thankful that my girls are running to their Dad and Cayden…to be honest I hope that it continues until they leave our home and decide to spread their wings and make a mark for themselves in this world. I am thankful they have Godly men who are exemplifying what it means to be a man of God. I am even more thankful the bond my girls have with them, because these men love them unconditionally.
My prayer is that they will hold out and wait for their prince, the man of God that will fit nicely into our family and show us how God heard our countless prayers for them. The men that God is shaping to handle my sweet little princesses, the ones who already love diamonds, don’t go a day without a tutu, and most of all will hopefully not waste anytime on kissing a frog, because they have seen what a true prince or king looks like thanks to their dad and brother.