“BEST day EVER!!!”

I didn’t realize a day that I would have deemed “subdued”, was not the word that I kept hearing my tiny utter.

Waiting for the day that she would turn 9 and finally open presents that she had requested was not as easy as she thought it would be.  But that is life as the youngest of 5.  

Our little caboose

Veil has spent her days watching everyone else do things that she is told she is “too small” or “too young” to do.  She watches her sisters be able to do ALL the things that she wants to do.  How hard it has to be to watch 3 older sisters do things before you.  She is 9 going on 16 if you all ask us.

Her request for her birthday day was to play at a friend’s house, go to open swim, shop at Silly Munchkins (our local toy store) & eat crepes with her family, every single sibling’s presence required (summer months with 3 teens…our dinner table shrinks and ebbs and flows every night…)

Her requests sum up how Veil loves and is wired to be loved in return.

A playdate with some friends at their house, not a huge gathering, but an intimate, familial setting, where you can play dress up, do crafts or simply have a tickle fest.  Her cup gets full when she has a few close people near her to play with.  

Going to the pool was a reminder of the way that Veil will face her fears, because she has found out how being brave makes her feel so confident.  So often Veil’s strength or ability to do hard things will get questioned or not offered a chance to display her abilities.  I think she needs to wear a shirt “Tiny & tough”, so people stop assuming.  Veil talked about the diving board and wanting to go off it, we talked for days about it.  She wanted to know that it would be ok and fun and what to do as soon as she hit the water.  We talked about how brave she is.  Watching her big brown eyes lite up and look at me as I spoke life over her, “you are brave” “you can do it” “it’s going to be so fun!!”, was a gift for me too.  Watching your last child hit milestones…be still my heart.

Crepes and family, informing me that we would not be going to a restaurant, because she just wanted to be home with her people, that’s Veil.  Made my heart smile.  Her siblings, all of them around the table, it’s her happy place.  She will move from one sibling to the next.  Interacting with them each differently.  While watching each of them torment and baby her at the same time makes the table plenty full for us all.  Her world is about to start shaking up as the first sibling is graduating this year and soon the table will start to have less older siblings there.

Veil, she is the gatherer of the family.  Once she finds out the plans for the day or what we are having for dinner or something that needs to be done, Veil goes on mission as the family communicator.  Not because anyone asked, but because she wants everyone to know so we can all try to be together and on the same page.  

When present time came, Daddy surprised the little bean with probably one of the best presents to date.  If you don’t know, our tiny LOVES pandas.  She sleeps in a sea of pandas every night and they continue to overflow in her room.  One day, running errands with her dad she locked eyes on a life size panda for her.  After view the price tag she was informed it wasn’t going to happen.

We then spent WEEKS hearing about this said panda.  Finally, we presented her the option.  It would be her one gift from her siblings.  Not multiple gifts from them.  I saw the little wheels turning in her head.  I thought the conversation would end.  BUT then, a few days later, that little tiny walked up to me and said it was worth it, she wanted the panda and she already named it.

Richard bought the panda and hid it at my work, because where else would you hide a life size panda?!? When she visited 3 Bears a few days later and saw that it was gone her whole world was crushed.  Little did she know.

Watching her surprise as she watched videos of the panda following her dad through town and eventually making it home, sitting shotgun in our car…priceless.

Her other request was a sweatshirt from the concert we attended in April, it was sold out and she reminded me on the regular to order it for her.  If you ever want to be reminded of something, just ask Veil, she’s like an elephant.  She also can sing all the words to most of Forrest Franks’ songs.

Veil is the best cuddle buddy and has made it a nightly ritual to curl up in our laps.  You won’t find her sitting alone if she can help it, if you’re sitting watching TV with her, you are absolutely going to be in each other’s business.  She runs the home and makes sure that people take their medicine, leave in time for appointments and the animals are fed and disciplined appropriately.  She has decided that she is going to be a singer like her mommy when she grows up.  

Veil Eden,

My caboose.  I am reminded how tiny you are when I hear your voice on the phone.  I look forward to your soft voice in the morning, greeting everyone with your gentle spirit.  You have each of us wrapped around your finger.  Heaven help the person that tries to ever cause you harm, because the 6 bodyguards you have, we got you.  We pray that you always find comfort in knowing that God is the one who makes you mighty, no matter your physical size.  I pray that God protects and cultivates your tender-hearted mercy that you have for people who are mistreated and animals.   Veil Eden – we never knew how much we needed you until we met you.  Thank God He gives us more than we ever think to imagine or ask for.  We love you 9 year old.

Ya’el Ariel Ruth

Ya’el – Hebrew meaning “mountaint goat” (In Hebrew culture, the mountain goat is a symbol of agility, bravery, and independence)

Ya’el…boo as many of you know her by, Ya’el, my not so little mountain goat is 11 today.  I watched her walk up to her Naani last night and listened to amazement at how Ya’el is looking at her at almos eye level.  

I had to remind Richard recently when the selective listening, the glossed over eyes when being told to do something for the 40^x or just the rapid changing of emotions Ya’el can display in a day…we have a tween on our hands.  I had to remind him and yes me too, that we have done this 3 other times and we CAN do it again…

The mountain goat – is known for its agility.  Now I have never had the chance to be up close to see a mountain goat’s agility, bravery & independence,  but I have been able to see them through binoculars one time Richard dragged me up a mountain.  

1. Agility – the ability to move quickly and easily

Over this last year, I watched my girl gain more and more confidence in her favorite sport.  Her coachability as well as her innate God-given insight to move quickly, has garnered her lots of respect from other coaches.  There were a handful of times I would hear the group of dads and others who have their eyes on her groan, cheer, challenge the refs calls and stop her after the game and tell her “good job!”.  There is something about watching this young girl in motion

2. Bravery – courageous behavior or character

I once heard someone say that the bravest people they know are the ones that deal with anxiety on a regular basis…I didn’t know that would be something I needed to start reminding myself of.  To watch a child that conquered the steepest waterslide in the Bahamas (before her dad or older siblings) all of a sudden not be able to play soccer or go to school or no longer want to eat at a restaurant this last year has been challenging.  Yet, as we have been using all the tools, prayers, mindfulness & therapy.  I have been challenged to see that it was in her BRAVERY to be honest with her Dr & therapist about the things she can’t control thinking or feeling…that she is one of the bravest people I know.  How many times have you adults…not been honest about your struggles?  I watched her state her needs and I watched her bravely start going to therapy.  Be still my heart.

3. Independent – free from outside control

Oh boo…independent is definitely a word I would use for you.  My child who isn’t afraid to not need the crowd.  Who can see when friends aren’t loving well and decides to not get involved.  My child who when she is peopled out will go and disappear in her room, filling her song book with more and more songs to sing on her ukelele or just sitting in the quiet play by herself.  Ya’el knows the importance to know herself – before she tries to know others.  Because Ya’el is an empath…she is going to need this skill to know when to tuck away, after caring for others and their needs.

Ariel – Hebrew definition “lion of God” (signifies being a strong, powerful, and courageous individual who defends their beliefs and is a protector of the righteous)

If you want to know what it feels like to be protected by boo.  Just stand in her presence.  God has gifted her with discernment & mercy.  This are Holy Spirit empowered gifts and when she uses them, watch out.  Cold hearts will melt when she holds your hand as you grieve bitter tears.  Wounds of abandonment and neglect start to be tended with healing oil as she hugs you tight.  Her prayers – remember, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16), they go straight to the Father.

Ruth – Hebrew definition “friend” or “companion” (The term “friend” in Hebrew is often associated with concepts of loyalty, affection, and mutual support).

1. Loyalty – loving kindness & faithfulness.  If you have earned a spot in Ya’el heart.  She will carry you with her.  She doesn’t let others get in the way.  Even if she sees others doing the opposite.  She remains loyal to those she loves.  She also doesn’t leave you behind if you’re in her pack. 

2. Affection  – if you haven’t yet received her hugs…then you are missing out.  If you want to know what a snuggly boo is like, just create space for her to lean up on you and she will be in your face in a matter of seconds.  Personal bubbles are just a suggestion until she knows that you will receive her affection. 

3. Mutual support – you are not alone when you’re with Boo.  She doesn’t sit back and watch others struggle.  It’s in her very DNA to show up and give what she has.  She will hold your busy child so you can talk after church with your friends, she will come and rub your back after a long day and say “thanks for all your hard work”.  

Somehow, my 4^th born has entered in into the tween years.  You will see her hanging at the ball field with her friends and not her family, you will see her trying all the current styles until she finds her own and you WILL watch her flourish and grow this next year as she cotinues to be the person we have known her to be.

Ya’el Ariel Ruth, I pray a blessing over this year to come, that you will continue to walk in the paths of righteousness that God has for you, sure footed in all that He directs.

“What is it like, now that your baby boy is 17? Just one more year mama…”

The first question that Kyre asked me when she saw me this morning.  I hadn’t quite registered the day, I was still trying to get past the normal Sunday morning wrestle of quieting my introverted soul.  Sundays are so peopley…

“Just one more year”.

I remember reading this obnoxious book that a college friend got me for Cayden’s baby shower.  When I opened the present there was a collective sigh when other attendees saw the title of the book.  However, this was a book that had never crossed my path.  Which was surprising given how much time I spent in early childhood development, in my college years.

I was reassured countless times that I would love this book.

I remember reading the book and tossing it to the side.  Richard was perplexed with my dislike for a book (I have been known to become a shell of myself for days when I have a book in my hand).  This book, this book rubbed me the wrong way.  How could anyone love this book, let alone think that I might like it…?

Richard laughed after he read the book and I decided to put it to the side.

It wasn’t until I had a day with my curious, problem solving, independent 2 year old Cayden, that I found myself with the book placed in my lap.  His big brown eyes and his chubby little hands were not giving me any other options.  I sat down and pulled him into my lap and read the book to him.

The book that I decided was ridiculous…now had a deeper meaning to me, something my soon -to-be mama heart, couldn’t understand 2 years prior.  But now my veteran mama heart, with 2 under 2 could get.

Just one more year…

The dreams we’ve listened to, the conversations he would have with us about the intense vocations his little soul thought would be cool to do. The things he wanted to do when he grew up and no longer lived with mama and daddy.

Those are no longer childish conversations; they now require us to stop and treasure the moments he comes to us.  When he opens up his ideas and dreams to us, we are fully aware they don’t come like they use to when he was 7.

Now how to invest, the economy, politics, “how to” videos or logistics of where he will live next year are happening.

It’s not a Tonka Trucks that he asked for this year, instead it was a real truck that he drove away in, after placing the check in the seller’s hand.

When asking for forgiveness in a major mess up on my end and to be honest, lack of self regulation, I got to see the man he is, the man I prayed he would be.

I couldn’t believe it, how quickly he extended forgiveness.  Verbally and emotionally.  I sat in a moment of disbelief.  It took me by surprise.  I had acted at my worst, I was ready for him to let me know my failures, to give me the silent treatment.  (Things from our past that creep in when we parent, right?).

When I asked “why are you not going to hold this against me?”

His response was “we forgive, we are family and that’s what family does”

So simple, yet so healing for me to experience and see it be a truth formed in him.

There are a lot of things to still sit and listen to, we have one more year. But if this next year is like the prior ones, it will be over before we know it. We are doing our best to pause and take these moments in.

Richard and I recently talked about goals and things that we want to leave behind for our kids.  Like any parents, we would love to leave behind generational wealth.  As we have invested in their cultural wealth, by choosing to raise them in their culture, we will leave behind clan bearers and clan protectors.  But more than anything, we want to see a spiritual legacy.  What will our children do when they raise the next generation.  What values will they take from us?

Raising kids in a small town is a gift, we always get reports of our kids.  Good and bad.  But man I sure love the good ones, when I get to hear about who Cayden is in the community.

Cayden your quiet demeanor is a gift.  I know it’s part of who you are as a native man, but I see it as a gift God has given you.  Because when you speak, you hold the room, because you don’t waist words.  The natural favorabilty with people is because there has been an anointing over you have a heart like King David, a man after God’s own heart. 

You cast a big safety net every where you go, because you bring the light.  Walking with you in the dark after a Zach Bryan concert to find our ride, never made me question my safety.  As much as the cheer girls drove you crazy, I know how much you earned their respect by how you treated them.  Listening to Veil call you while you were gone this last week and how sweet you were to her…I know I am not the only one who sees your tender side. 

Even your surprise tattoo was well, you being you.  A legacy maker. You are a good man Cayden Harney, even if I told you that I didn’t want anymore ER visits and you still didn’t listen…I swear son…”

Happy birthday William Cayden, 17 years old!

I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I am living my baby you will be…

Do you ever have pictures that stand out in your mind?  Maybe it’s a picture of a big moment, a painful moment or just a moment where you knew life was going to be different after it…

I have some pictures that stand out so clearly when it comes to this little soul…who I probably need to stop calling little since she is officially in double digits!

Ya’el Ariel Ruth is 10 years old

My best friend was there to document her siblings meeting her in the hospital and we still can’t get over how awake and alert Boo was then…taking the world in around her, feeling, sensing, exploring

Boo was seriously our sucker baby.  The easiest transition to our chaotic home.  She entered in and found her spot.  She was complete and utter Joy and she had her daddy wrapped around her chubby fat fingers.

I will never forget when she sat up in her rocker, showing me that she was no longer going to sit back and wait to grow up.  She had 3 older siblings to catch up with.

Her laid back personality, mixed with gentle playfulness made our days, months, years pass by, with the full awareness that we all rely on boo for different things.

For daddy – boo is his reminder that human touch is good.  Human touch is needed.  Boo and her love language of physical touch can get on her daddy’s nerves…who does NOT have physical touch as his love language.  However, I have watched her go to him and touch his back when he has had a hard day at work.  I have watched her lay her head on his shoulders when he is stressed out traveling and I can see his tension go down.  Boo makes sure that his love cup gets full whether he wants it or not.

For Cayden – boo was his first real baby.  Boo was the baby that he would take from me and tell me to go and get a shower or to keep sitting at the table with my bible study and coffee, because “I got her mom!”.  Boo is constantly helping Cayden remember that feelings are real…they are felt deeply by people and that being sensitive can be a good thing.  Boo will challenge Cayden to practice the softer side of him that we all know is in him.  Oddly enough…Cayden will stand up for her when he thinks I am being too harsh on her…not something he will do for every Harney sister!  Our layover in Seattle, from our recent Bahamas trip, had the two of them twisted together like a pretzel.  Cayden had us all laughing as he told us that he woke up to boo twisted in his legs and she had him in a full headlock…while they were both sleeping…too which Veil responded in perfect timing… “now you understand why I tell her to stay on HER Side of the bed”.

For Ezrah – boo and her carry an important part in our family.  They are the 2 little mamas.  Ezrah and boo will sometimes knock heads over how I should be parenting Veil, how I should be dealing with the naughty dog or what I am making for dinner.  I have watched boo challenge Ez to do new things.  Ezrah has had to face so many scary things, but when boo leads the way in a new scary thing…Ez will follow after her…case in point the “leap of faith” slide, that I swore off and never tried.  Boo helps Ez remember the importance of having fun, even when things are scary or hard.

For Ky – boo and her…well they are still a work in progress.  Boo stole the throne that Kyre Grace was proudly sitting on.  Boo’s cuddly, easy going spirit, has challenged Ky’s intense, passionate, self-reliant spirit.  I think that Boo’s easy-going nature, that is so sure of herself, has helped Kyre realize that its ok when things don’t always work out the way they should.  Boo helps Kyre still be a kid.  Boo can get toys out, craft stuff and entice Ky to sit with her at the table.  

For Veil – boo is her best friend.  Veil loves Boo more then me at times…and honestly I am ok with that.  I have seen Boo parent, correct, love, cook, dress, help with discipline SO many times when it comes to Veil.  Yes, I have even had to tell her to back off and please not tell me how to parent Veil…  Boo creates imaginary worlds for the two of them to play in.  I will find them laughing till 11 at night, they will be building couch tents on rainy days or just singing funny songs while they swing on the deck.  Boo is a true testament of “greater love has no friend, than a friend that is willing to lay down their lives for another”.  This is boo.  She loves Veil so fiercely and the best part is that veil KNOWS it.

For me…where do I start?

Boo – my rainbow baby.  The little soul that would come after a heartbreaking loss.

I had more moments on our recent family vacation – where I realized boo and I are so similar.  My mom tells me that, as she spends lots of time with them in the fringe hours of Richard and I working.  Boo needs quiet in the mornings, she doesn’t have a lot of words to say, but don’t think her mind isn’t going.  She is just trying to form sentences from all the thoughts that are happening.  Boo loves the water and sunshine, it was hard to peel us away from the pool. Boo needs time to process changes so she can adapt and make plans.

Boo thinks it is hilarious that she is the darkest Harney…and lives to point out that she is darker than me and even though I am more native than her. 

Boo will give you the tightest hug and when she lifts her head and looks up at you with her dark black eyes…you melt.  Really…there is so much love in her eyes for you that it can take your breath away.  Boo…thanks for hugging me and holding me when I need it the most and can sometimes be too prideful to ask you to hug me in my broken moments.

If you are hurting, the weight of the world seems like a lot…boo can see it and feel it from you miles away.  I still to this day get stories of how Boo comforts even adults when they have had bad days just by the way she interacts with them and loves on them.

Boo is so serious and I should know…she is just like her mama…However when she is ready to have fun…she is just like her mama too.  Watch out, she loves to play tricks on you, get your attention so you will respond back to her and she will laugh in ways that make you laugh, because its freaking PURE JOY!

Ya’el Ariel Ruth

You’re kind of a big deal…I hope that you know how much you are adored by us and many others that have discovered what an amazing human you are!

Happy BIG 10 Boo

William Cayden Harney

I recently heard of a new little soul growing inside a soon to be family of 3.  

“The First”…it’s not overly hyped up.

“The First”…it’s going to break you even when you try your absolute hardest to not break.

“The First”…it’s going to forever reframe how you look at everything else that comes after.

“The First”…it’s going to show you what healing can only come when you face your fears.

Whether you are having your first baby, your first day of highschool in a new city, going on your first date, trying to sleep the night before your first job, after graduating college or it’s your first day of retirement.  

“Firsts” are a super big deal…right?

In 16 years Cayden, you and I have faced SO many “firsts”together.

No one was more shocked than me to see the double pink lines that hot Arizonan July morning.  We were going to a pizza place that our friend Dani worked at.  It was our weekly “family” gathering with our college friends.  There would be adult drinks there…and your mom was use to having a good time being a young 23 yr old…

Those lines propelled me into a never-ending series of me facing my “first” as a mother.

I recently returned from a concert in Seattle and when I was telling you about it, a memory flashed before me, of me sitting at the computer, playing a Matisyahu CD, with big headphones stretched over my belly and feeling you respond to the music.

I was in constant awe of the miracle I was witnessing, growing inside of me.

That hasn’t changed in 16 years.

Recently someone mentioned seeing you and they were as speechless as I was at the man-child, your father and I are trying to continue to raise. In these rapidly face few years left with you at home.

There are times you startle me because I forget there is another man living in my home and not the little 7 year old boy that would dress in camo from head to toe.  You wanted to be just like your favorite Duck Commanders.

The girls laughed at me when I was in the passenger seat of our Burb and you climbed in the drivers seat…I had reached out to grab “who I thought” was your dad and was surprised to find you there in the drivers seat…

Cayden…I am in another season of facing my firsts with you.

Raising a man.

Some thoughts I have gathered in the 16 years of getting to be your momma…

I am amazed at how much of your personality was being lived out in your early years.

You were a child of few words.  Serious by nature and would come alive when we were outside playing. Those are descriptions I would use to describe you now.  Growing up in Alaska has been your greatest playground.

I can see how being an older sibling of a child with cystic fibrosis has impacted how you view the world and how it “should” act to those in need, who are marginalized and those who need compassion.  I will never forget you wanting to buytennis shoes for a fellow classmate in elementary school because the kid was being picked on for their ratty shoes.

I should have realized that when I was training a 9 year old to run his first ½ marathon, that it was going to reveal the grit, determination and endurance that was formed in you by our Creator.  I am still trying to learn how to differentiate when I am being asked to be a “wrestler’s” momma.  Your perseverance in competitions is so fun to watch.

I would often be surprised at the “grown-up” conversations we would have when you were a child.  Having your Sunday school teacher tell me that you were struggling understanding the Trinity of God at the age of 7, still makes me laugh today.  I love getting to sit and talk to you about adult things and hear how much you understand of the world and those around you.

These next 2 years are not for the faint of heart.  I have had a few mommas prepare me for the next of “firsts” I will be going through as you enter into adulthood even more.

Just 2 more years of high-school, the reality that you have a big wide world out there of “firsts” waiting for you is staring me in the face

My prayer is that you will remember how you were Created by God, who loves you and knows you more than me.  He has given you what you need to face this world, and what you don’t have, He will always give you when you lean on Him.

William Cayden Harney,

God has given you a love of the outdoors, because it’s there that He wants to connect with you. People are safe, protected and advocated for, when they are in your circle.  I can’t wait to see how God is going to continue to put you in places of leadership and responsibility.  Caring for those in need, is being the direct hands and feet of Jesus – don’t ever forget that.  

I can’t wait to see the things you are going to go for and I get to be your biggest fan as you stretch the limits, chose your hard, lean into the things that make you face yourself.

Thankful for my First time being a momma happened 16 years ago today

Happy Birthday Cayden  

Love you buddy

We are snuggled up tight on the couch, the chick flick that I had voted for was shot down. They all wanted to watch a marvel movie. I had spent the week prior sitting and listening to the 4 of them debate with passion and a deep knowing, the order of movies we should be watching the ENTIRE Marvel series in…this is my life…4 daughters and what do I find myself experiencing? Marvel marathons over Jane Austin marathons.

She is there, in between my legs, head resting on my chest and her little body giving me extra warmth. There is never a question of whether or not I am her favorite. We ALL know who I am. It doesn’t matter if dad is asking or if she is in a room full of college kids doing introductions, she will say with abandon, “MOM!”, when asked who her favorite is.

I don’t know if it’s her assurance in her proclamation or the look in her eyes when she looks at her dad that makes me smile.

There are no excuses with her, she owns it all.

I find myself zoning off, how many marvel movies can one person watch?!?

Suddenly there is a loud explosion, my eyes and attention back on the TV screen, shots are fired and Princess Diana of Themyscira it walking through the battle scene unscathed…

Its then I hear the little soul pipe up.

“THAT’s why you don’t make a girl mad” (giggle giggle).

If only I could be paid for each time someone who has spent a little time with her told me, she is JUST like you…

Veil doesn’t hold back. But she also doesn’t give in right away either. Her side eyes crack me up when someone is trying to earn her trust and she is studying them. You will have to do more than just say hi or say a nice complement more than once. She waiting to feel you out…see if you are going to be consistent before she lets you in.

But once you’re in, you’re in.

She will hug you like you have been separated from her for too long.

She will dance like no one is watching and when she sees someone watching, she shrugs her shoulders and goes right back to dancing.

She will mock you in ways that make the teenagers and their friends’ jaws drop when they are around her.

She will sit through an entire play, legs crossed and sitting up straight, like the little lady she is.

She will never miss an opportunity to get dressed up and do her makeup with her older sisters.

She finds a way to never have to carry her stuff or wields her invisible power to make people in the home do her bidding.

She will hold your hand and tell you she loves you when your heart is heavy, its almost like she does that so she can absorb some of the heaviness you carry.

She will eat candy everyday till the grave if you let her, how else would one stay SO sweet all day long?!?

She will beat you at a game of Manits or Garbage any day of the week, but will let you win if you have had a hard day.

She will pout about doing ANY sort of outdoorsy stuff and lets you know when you are outside with her, that she just isn’t cut out for the “roughing it” type of settings.

She will let you know when your attitude stinks by asking you “do you need a nap?”

She will remind you to slow down when you are rushing through dinner prep when she shows up in her own apron, hands washed and stool in hand, even when she is told “not today”.

She will order a Shirley Temple at the restaurant, looking the waiter in the eyes, like any classy young woman would do (without asking her parents of course…because what family our size has money to buy everyone drinks?!?)

She will cry when she falls and still needs band-aids to heal any scrape or bump she gets and needs to be held, like every tiny 7 year would need.

I don’t know how she is 7 years old today. Our caboose is entering the 2^nd grade and as I have told each of her teachers at the start of school “you haven’t seen a Harney like her yet”, I will be saying it again, with even more understanding that she knows who she is more than most adult women do.

Happy birthday Bean!!!

You make life full of laughter, honesty, snuggles and joy

I am praying that your strength the Lord knit in you would move the mountains He needs you to move.  I am praying that your desire for honesty will release prisoners stuck in lies.  I am praying that your snuggles you crave from me is where you get your battery recharged and not turn to the world.  I am praying that the joy you so easily find will be something you continue to share with those blessed enough to be in your orbit.

Happy birthday Veil Eden Harney

Dear Boo

Do you know how special you are? I have to ask because it is so rare for you to draw attention to yourself. You are one of the most capable new 9-year-olds that I know. Adults will tell me how grown up you are in your conversations. I watch peers look to you as a measure of what it means to be a “big kid”. Kids younger than you all know that you are safe and will treat them no differently than kids older than them. It doesn’t take me long to find you on a Sunday morning. I just need to find the trails of giggles and look for the new gymnastic competition you have set up. Your confidence makes me smile. You are who you are, you never make any excuses, I think you see the world in a different way, holding the balance of your youth with the maturity of your soul in a delicate dance.

Ya’el Ariel Ruth, you are 9 years old today!

You told me last night, it’s my last year in the single digits. You said it so matter of factly. I love it when you make statements with no emotions behind them. There is no need to make a fuss over something. You came into this world wide-eyed, calm, taking everything in, letting those brain cells process everything around you.

I have to remind myself that when we are getting ready to do anything as a family, you need me to give you the rundown. I use to get slightly irritated at the list of questions you will grill me with. But then I realized, it’s because you have kept track of all the unique needs of the family and you want to make sure I haven’t forgotten what they might need. You are the first to be ready, packed, and then follow me around the house making sure I don’t forget anything.

When there is an outburst from a family member, I will quickly find you next to me, whispering to me what that person needs to understand or how to diffuse the situation. You have studied each family member. You know ways to calm people down, how to make them laugh when they are sad, how to serve them when they need care, how to comfort them with touch when they don’t have the self-awareness that they need physical touch.

Your wit keeps me on my toes. I am surprised at the upper-level jokes that your brain gets. How you can watch a movie and understand what is happening that will sometimes go over your sister’s head. Your ability to laugh at sarcasm makes your daddy love you so much. You don’t dish it out, but you laugh and smile back when it’s given.

I have learned to let small things go. You came into a family that was in utter chaos. Your daddy was working a new role in his job, I was finishing my 1^st year of my master’s program, while serving at the church. Your siblings were 2,4, & 6. We didn’t know the meaning of a slow pace…hmmm…we still don’t.

Your go-with-the-flow attitude was such a gift to me. I will never forget the day I loaded you up in the mobi and walked your siblings to McDonald’s for ice cream on a beautiful summer day because they needed to be outside and I had to suck it up. Your chill little soul let me pack you up and take you to so many places I didn’t think I could handle, yet had to because your siblings needed it.

Ya’el, your daddy dreamed of having a little baby girl with big dark brown eyes and dark hair, a little girl that would look just like your momma. We laughed in awe of God’s perfect design as we studied the curly black hair you had and found quickly that we could get lost in your big brown eyes.

There is always a look of love in them.

I love hearing from your teachers that they wish they had 20 Ya’el’s in their classroom. Because I know exactly what they mean when they say it.

I love it when you get tired of people saying your name wrong, so you go up to them quietly and say “You can call me boo” (so they don’t feel any embarrassment at their failed attempts)

I love it when we have to clean up a conversation quickly when you mention your best friend is a 43 yr old male…ha! Yay for Uncle Bri Bri

I love it when you pack an extra treat or drink for your little sister when she swears up and down she doesn’t need it, mainly because she doesn’t want to pack it…just for you to pull it out for her when she is in meltdown mode.

I love it that you tried out for the talent show at school because you realized “I figured it was a good way to get over my stage fright”

I love that when you show up late for a soccer game…yeah, I am sorry Boo, indoor soccer season with 4 other Harneys with 4 other soccer schedules sometimes gives you the shaft…I love that your whole team cheers and tells the coach to get you in ASAP.

I love that we can be in a public place and you will see a classmate from school and you will shout out their name and say hi…I wonder how many times I don’t say hi because I don’t feel brave enough to.

I love that when we got to the outlook of our hike yesterday and everyone else wanted to get down from the mountain for their special post-hike treat that you stood there and said “Can we just stay here and enjoy the view for a moment?”.

Ya’el Ariel Ruth – what a treasure you are to us all. The name you were given from your Naani, it has such a prophetic telling of your story. She prayed over you like she has done with every Harney baby, but this was different. She sought God, she asked Him, “who” you would be.

And this is what He told her.

Ya’el: God’s strength

Ariel: Lion of God

Ruth: compassionate friend

Sweet Boo – your ability to stand in chaos and speak peace is the strength of God. Your quick intuition to care for those who need help makes you a protector, a lion of God. Your gentle heart leads you to always think of others, making you such a compassionate friend.

Boo, we sure don’t deserve you, but wow are we thankful God gave you to us!!!

Happy birthday my 9-year-old. Now to get ready for the birthday hike you requested for your special day