14 years old today

I can’t even.

There was a photo that came up of her 2^nd bday party recently.  She was flashing her cheesy smile and rocking a tutu and a beenie.  I was transported to a time that has always been a blur for me.  Kyrene’s 2^ndbirthday was outside, in November…at Ward Lake.  We wanted to celebrate her birthday and give her the love she deserved, but life with Ezzy and Cystic Fibrosis made things like birthday parties hard.  In order to have all the people that we wanted there, during cold and flu season, it meant we had to brave the cold to keep Ezzy safe.  But she was worth it to everyone to be there in the freezing cold.

Even though I am the one that only remembers why her party was outside, I know that those formative years shaped the heart that I am seeing in Kyrene today.

Like any teenage girl, 7^th grade year is hard.  Being a mom of 4 girls, I am being constantly reminded each child is different.  But what one common factor I find when raising girls is that girl drama gets cray cray by 7^thgrade.

I watched Kyrene navigate surprises, betrayal, cyber bullying & lots of tears and hard words shared.  It was challenging to help her process how to clean up the relational messes she made at times.  All in all, I found myself bracing for what each day would bring, because girls…can be so ruthless.  The loneliness, the convincing herself that she was better off alone was heartbreaking.  

I could relate all too well to the daily pain she was living.

In one of my own rants to God about the things she was going through, I heard the Lord remind me to pray for her to have friends.  Not just any friends, but 1-2 quality friends.  Friends that would get her humor, her loud animated stories and her love of any living creature.  I spent months asking God to send someone.

It wasn’t until today, while writing this blog that the Lord reminded me of His leading to ASK.  Scriptures tell us, “you have not, because you ask not”…how many times have I let fear or insecurity stop be from asking God for help.  Stinking thinking.

Gone are the lonely days that plagued her 7^th grade year!  A shift happened this summer.  Maturing isn’t easy, but so necessary.  We all have areas to GROW UP in, right?

The once quiet room, is now filled with FT calls from friends, her evenings and weekends are spent with girls who are pursuing Jesus and wanting to stay away from the girl drama.  Watching Kyre and Boo be on the same outdoor team this year was precious.  They had their own sister handshake after each goal! Got me teary eyed every time.  

BUT the greatest victory came just last month, Kyre shared how she was getting pulled into some drama.  She said how when the person tried to stir the pot, instead of getting defensive or asking questions, she replied “I am not going to talk about that” and changed the topic.

And guess what…the drama that could have grown.  Didn’t.  Because she learned the hard way.  The only way you stop gossiping, is to say OUTLOUD “I will not talk about that”.  Plain and simple.

If I was there, I would have been cheering her on from the sidelines.  Knowing how much courage it takes to be the one, the one person who shuts down the gossip and models a new way.

Kyrene Grace.  The Lord made you a trail blazer.  He put that fire in you to burn hot the way it does because it brings warmth and light to those in need.  He asked you to burn hot for Him, which means that in this broken world, there will be so many other things to burn for.  But REMEMBER, He has asked YOU to learn how to temper your passions at times, so that He can show YOU what self-control and discipline CAN do under pressure.  He has equipped you with the GRACE to own your faults, ask for forgiveness and give it to those who can’t give it to you.  I am thankful you are still the fierce prayer warrior you started to become as a small child.  The gates of hell shake when you use your spiritual gift of intercession!!

Thankful the Lord is letting me grow up in understanding and grace with YOU.  Kyrene the world is a better place because of the light that you shine.  Love you sweet girl.